SPLITTING MY TIME

Well summer is over as far as free time and school has once again started. Volleyball started for me last Monday, (I coach at Bountiful High) and I forgot how stressed out it leaves me. Last year was very stressful with just Mya now I have to kids to try and find sitters for! I swear when I was younger that is how I made all my school shopping money was babysitting, now finding a babysitter is beyond the impossible. I mean you have the people in your ward or neighbors that always say "if you ever need any help, or to watch your kids for a bit, please call me". But do they really mean it? I don't know, I don't think so though so I never call them. I was on the phone last night till 1030 at night trying to find a sitter today while I went to VB practice. No no one, I just wish it was as easy to find sitters back when I was growing up. How do kids earn money anymore? THe parents just handing it out to them these days? ANyways that was a little sidenote, just a bit frustrated is all! I think we are going to have a great team this year and I really do enjoy coaching, it's just very very stressful when you have a 2 year old who is running all over the place or just hanging on you to hold her and your stuck holding yoru hewborn who eats every 3 hours. Lets just say I don't accomplish much at practice when I have the kids there! I am excited to teach this year too. I did so many things wrong last year (always are many mistakes your first year, in my case it will be my first 20 years). It's been hard cause I see where things didn't work out and where I really need to improve and a lot of it is going to take a lot of preparation time and I just don't really have that time so it's been very annoying. I don't want to go back to school this year, and teaching the same way I did last year becuase I didn't take the time to better myself and my curriculum. Although frustrating because I can't find the time exp with two kids now and coaching but I am grateful the desire is there. TOo many teachers are teaching and they don't want to be there. It's sad, their burned out and sick and tired of kids and no longer care to make their teaching better. I know I can think of several teachers growing up that were just like that where you just want to yell at them and ask them why they even teach, they obviously hate their job and the kids! I hope that desire never stops with me, I love my resource kids, it really has to be the most rewarding job there is! On top of all this I feel like I am not being a good mom. Here I have two kids starving for my attention and I am running off to practice and dragging them with me, and teaching and trying to be a mom all at the same time. I just get tired of feeling at the end of everyday I failed someone, either my kids, myself or the other coaches! Maybe I just put to much on my plate, thinking I can do it all....and really I can't!